she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
