Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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