i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
