I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
