she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
