he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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