I can tuck mytits in my pants
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
