Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
