You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
