YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Randomize
