Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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