Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize