I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
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