They should really pass out barf bags in church
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
