my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
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