Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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