so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
