Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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