i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
