i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
