i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
