If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
