You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
