i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
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