Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
