covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
