So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Randomize
