god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
