bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
