Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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