dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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