Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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