Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize