I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
