i already hear my dad disowning me
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Randomize
