think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
