when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
