i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
