sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
