My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Randomize
