sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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