When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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