um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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