why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
