dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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