Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
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