My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
