You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
