So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
