remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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