dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
