and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
