I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
