Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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