I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
